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Photo by Ярослав Гринько on Unsplash

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My Fellow Cis White Guys: It Takes Work to Not to Be Creepy

5 min readMar 31, 2022

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The young co-ed volunteer at the student sexual violence resource center looked terrified as I walked in the door.

It took me a moment, but then I cursed in my mind. I had just come in from the unexpected Spring rain and my London Fog trench coat was soaked, as were my black combat-style boots and the lower half of my black slacks.

My best I’m a harmless old guy smile wasn’t much use under my N95 mask.

I was carrying a cloth tote bag full of brochures from the Rape Crisis Center where I work, but all she could see was “big heavy bag full of something” carried by a large unknown masked man with slicked-back graying hair.

She was volunteering at an organization that had successfully, for years, provided victims of sexual violence with advocacy services and resources. It had also worked to try and reduce the rape culture built into the campus social life (the University of Wisconsin has the unfortunate distinction of being one of the most intoxicated campuses in the U.S.).

All of which made her, the other volunteers, and the organization itself a target in a mostly-red swing state, and the people in power that…

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Gray Miller
Gray Miller

Written by Gray Miller

Gray is a former Marine dancer grandpa visualist who writes to help adults figure out what they want to be when they grow up.