Seven Sayings That Sound Smart But Aren’t
Please, for the love of grammar, think before you use them.
Language matters.
All of the following proverbs had good intentions. But intention is not magic.
The problem with these “sayings” — phrases that symbolize a larger concept — is that they are used to replace thinking. They are mental punctuation marks, designed to close off further exploration or discussion.
Also, they annoy me. Here’s why:
1. Don’t reinvent the wheel.
Has there been anything else that has been reinvented as much as the wheel?
From pizza cutters to rollerblades to snow tires, we are constantly benefiting from people reinventing this concept in new ways that are useful. Maybe we need to check and make sure that whatever “wheel” we’re planning on using is really the best choice — and if not, build on the concept and make something better.
2. You can sleep when you’re dead.
Really? Are you sure? Who came back from the afterlife and told you?
This is an entirely uninformed aphorism that is used by hustle culture and toxic masculinity to exploit people’s desire to please. There is no substitute for sleep. Being sleep deprived impairs you cognitively, physically, and will eventually both drive you insane and kill you.
“You can sleep when you’re dead?” Here’s a thought: what if you can’t? Maybe all the sleep we get is when we’re alive.
Better take a nap.
3. Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
This one offends me both as a feminist and as someone who earned a Bachelor of Science in dance. Let’s break it down.
First, there’s the problem of measuring all of Ms. Rogers accomplishments only in comparison with Mr. Astaire. She had a career that started in vaudeville and ended 70 years later when she died in 1995. During that time she made 73 films, won the academy award, starred and directed on Broadway, wrote a book, and was given the Kennedy Honors. She’s ranked 14th in the American Film Institute’s “100 Films, 100 Stars” list. She doesn’t need to be compared to a man to be impressive.
Second, there’s the problem with the idea that in a dance duet where there is a “lead” and a “follow” that the latter just does the reverse of the former. Following is a skill completely independent of leading. Ginger Rogers was an amazing dancer, and all it takes is watching some of her work with Astaire to see that they were complementary, not competitive — and both should be appreciated for their own skills.
Don’t take my word for it. Watch for yourself:
4. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Sometimes, sure.
Other times it leaves you worse. Exhibit A, long COVID.
The problem with this saying is that it is often used as an excuse to avoid the work of healing, or the acknowledgement that when you’ve been through something that could have killed you it usually leaves you changed, and not always for the better. “Oh, that didn’t kill you, you’re stronger now, get back to work.” But “healing from whatever didn’t kill you might make you stronger” just doesn’t have the right ring to it.
If only it could be applied culturally. “Hey, look those people are peaceful! We should hang with them, and be stronger for it.”
5. Everything in moderation.
No. I’m sorry. This is not true.
One of the bright minds in the Aligned Productivity group (affiliate link) gave the perfect example:
“Racism in moderation is not a good thing.”
Should some things be in moderation? Of course. But everything leaves a loophole for a whole lot of bad stuff to try and justify its existence in your life.
And then there’s the flip side:
6. Go big or go home
Or, if you’re British, “you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.”
That saying posits that if you’re going to be stealing livestock, you are risking getting hung — so you might as well grab the big sheep as the small lamb, because if you’re caught you’ll get hung either way.
Really, though, you can see the flaw in that thinking pretty easily: it’s probably easier to escape with a small lamb than with a large sheep, you’re more likely to be caught — and hung — if you “go big”. Choosing the smaller effort increases the odds that you can “go home.”
And what’s wrong with going home, anyway? Isn’t that where we want to eventually end up anyway? Maybe we should go just far enough, and then go home.
And have a nap.
7. You gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps!
I saved the most egregious for last.
Bootstraps, for those who don’t own boots, are little tabs at the top of boots that help get them on your feet.
The origin of the saying goes back to the 19th century as an example of an impossible task. It’s obviously ludicrous to expect someone to be able to pick themselves up that way — that’s not how physics works, and everyone, at least in the 19th century, knew that.
At some point the powers that be flipped the script, and now the saying is meant to mean “To begin an enterprise or recover from a setback without any outside help; to succeed only by one’s own efforts or abilities” (Wiktionary). Something like a “perpetual motion machine” or “spontaneous generation” — two other ideas that represent things that would be cool if they were true, but aren’t.
This phrase has given many successful people the ability to overlook the advantages and help they received, as well as the privileges the culture afforded them. “Self-made man” is an oxymoron — I am pretty sure that somewhere in the process there was somebody else, unless they spontaneously generated.
Worse, it gives people in positions of power an excuse not to help those who are struggling. “Oh, I could give them a hand up, but they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. If I help them, I’d just be reinventing the wheel. They need to go big or go home — they can sleep when they’re dead. After all, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. This has been my TED talk.”
Please think before you use these phrases.
Make sure you’re actually saying what you mean, and try to imagine the impact you might be having on your audience. It makes the difference between stale, meaningless platitudes and authentic communication.
Naps help, too.
