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“Why do you include your pronouns when you introduce yourself, Gray?”
For the same reason I shake hands (when possible) and don’t shake hands (when the risk is too great).
While there’s some mystery to it, the prevailing wisdom is that the reason much of the west extend their right hands when meeting is to convey a message of safety. “Look, I don’t have a weapon in my hand, I’m not going to attack you.” Then we shake hands: “Look, I don’t have a weapon up my sleeve, either, I’m really, truly, not going to attack you!”
No one, to my knowledge, has ever actually planned to attack me.
Likewise, no one has ever misgendered me — I use “he/him” pronouns, and the beard, shoulders, and irascible good looks (combined with o’erweening modesty) all fit into a comfortable masculine presence when I meet people.
That’s how it works FOR ME.
There are also a lot of people — friends, colleagues, co-workers, clients — for whom it does NOT work that way. They get misgendered often, in a best case through careless ignorance, in worse cases through malice, and have to constantly live with that discomfort and threat.
When I use pronouns, I am hoping to convey the message: “Look, I am not going to attack…
