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Yes, Consent is Like Tea, But Not How You Think.
Things aren’t as simple as that — nor should they be.
A few years back there was a cute little video making the rounds that explained the basic concepts of consent in terms of tea:
For the “TL;DW” crowd, basically it says If you offer someone tea, and they don’t want tea, don’t force it down their throats. There are a few corollaries, like if someone is unconscious, don’t give them tea and if they wanted tea yesterday, that doesn’t mean that they want tea today.
It was a well-meaning and well-executed visual allegory to introduce the most basic concepts of consent, and many educators welcomed it — at first.
Then we (at the time I also worked in the field) began to realize some troubling things about the video.
By announcing that consent is “simple as tea,” the video glosses over the complexities of power, privilege, and socialization that constitute sexual conduct. In the effort to make consent accessible, the video may inhibit urgent conversations about a nuanced issue and, if engaged with uncritically, perpetuates some of the social scripts that we, as educators, are working so hard to disrupt. — Belinda Karsen, Simon Fraser University
Upon reflection, though, the problem is not with the analogy. The problem is with their concept of tea.
There’s a lot of tea in the world.
Raise your hand if you drink tea — or if you know someone who does.
Great, now that we have everyone’s hand raised, ask yourself: what kind of tea?
Is it black? Herbal? Green? Maté (wait, is that even tea)?
Is it a specific blend that you use for health benefits, or do you simply have some Earl Grey as part of your Star Trek cosplay?
